Please stop telling people to “fake it until you make it”.  It’s an old piece of career advice that is often shared with the best intentions.  The rationale is that if someone responds to a new challenge by adopting successful behaviors, their confidence will eventually catch up.  Unfortunately, most of us have internalized the harmful message that showing up as we are at work is unacceptable.  We believe that people prefer the successful show we put on instead of our real selves.  Almost every week, I hear coaching clients describe aspects of themselves they wish they could change.  In their drive to belong and excel, they have taken self-improvement to extremes and value the appearance of expertise over deeper personal alignment and authenticity.

Here are 10 ways I have seen “Faking It” hurt organizations and deplete leaders: 

Navigating Your Career as a Whole Leader

I recently started accepting applications for a new career development program called The Gathering.  In it, I share tools and practices that help women navigate career decisions with clarity and confidence.  What I found in my own professional journey was that my career planning became an authentic expression of my strengths and passions only after I listened to parts of myself that I had ignored.  Engaging Three Centers of Intelligence - showing up as a whole leader - is one of the most practical, easily accessible frameworks I know for making these big choices.

Have you ever had the experience where you introduce yourself at a networking event and have the thought, “that doesn't sound like me”?  At a recent event, someone approached me and asked what kind of coaching I do.  My answer was four words long followed by an awkward pause.  

I was shocked at my own response.  Coaching is something I’m incredibly passionate about.  ... The truth is I was putting too much pressure on myself.  In wanting to say the perfect thing, I said nothing at all.  I was surprised and amused to see this old pattern show up because, in general, I have enjoyed most of my networking events this year.